Baby It's Cold Outside


Michigan has finally received the Artic blast of cold air and beautiful snow that winter's in this part of the country are used to. Growing up in Southern California has definitely skewed my idea of cold. Even though we have lived in Michigan for more than six years I still am surprised by people jogging or riding a bicycle when the temperature is less than 20 degrees. 

Elementary children don snow pants, boots, scarves, mittens, hats and coats for recess. Only if the temperature drops below zero is recess held inside! Wow, my So Cal brain can not conceive this! 

After several freezing cold days where recess was held in doors the temperature finally reached 2 degrees and outside recess was declared acceptable. The announcement was made that recess would be outside, children and teachers cheered and the students began dressing in their warmest belongings our kinder and first graders trudged outside, excited to make snow angels and have the freedom to run.




Walking down the hallway after recess while the students are changing is like walking through a mine field. Children are standing, falling, squiggling and wiggling to take off their wet clothes and once again feel warm. There a midst the pile of clothing slumped a very cold, very wet, very sad little girl. Teeth chattering, tears running down her cheeks and a shrieking cry alerted me. 
Her hands bright pink and wet, held up so I could see. Lips quivering and those eyes that cried out, "Help me please, I am sooooo cold". 
Grasping her hands in mine I asked her if she could feel the warmth from my hands. Shaking and nodding, I took that as a yes. Then I blew into our hands. "Can you feel that? It's like a little heater".  After reassuring her that she would be fine I sent her into her class. There on the ground I noticed her gloves.  Pink, stretchy mittens that were soaking wet. While these are good for warming your hands, they are Not for playing in wet, icy snow.  Having waterproof material would have kept her from being so cold. 

What I learned

We have been given everything we need, yet sometimes we choose to go out into the world without it. There are times that I feel just like that little girl, cold, alone and afraid. 
Can I do this thing that you have asked me to Lord?
How can I start again?
I don't know how!
I don't have the energy.
I'm afraid that I will fail!
I am overwhelmed!

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3

As you sit there thinking, "Help me please", May this verse inspire you to reach up and ask Him to take your hands into His own.

Seek him first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added onto you. Matthew 6:33

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Robes of White


Everywhere I looked this morning there was white. White streets, walkways, and driveways. Trees glistening under their clouds of snow and houses topped off with a dollop of the falling flakes. White, white, white, white, white. There was a theme and God spoke to me in the midst of it. "Jann, this is how I see you".

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more Hebrews 8:12
Humbled, gratefully whispering thank you. It became apparent that there was more. 
"Who will you choose to see in white?", I heard deep within my soul.  The question pierced and twisted until I understood the importance of it.  
How could I accept His gift of not remembering my sins and then look upon others with judgement? 
I wanted to protest, to list their sins before Him, to plead my righteous anger against them, but in a moment there was no defense, no argument only an acceptance of His request.  "I will see them in white because you do Lord." 

Let's be honest, people can irritate us, let us down and hurt us. They are sinners that are in need of His robe of forgiveness.  It can be difficult every day to see others as Jesus does, covered in white. Nevertheless, because we have been offered God's gift of grace, we must offer this grace to others. 

Who will you choose to see in white today?

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Dreams



Sometimes I have a weird combination of dreams. There have been times that I have dreamed that people from school are in my house and I am in my pajamas, other times my dreams are filled with students. Last night was no different! In my dream a little first grade girl was fiddling with a piece of white paper that was on her desk. As I looked closer there were many small ripped pieces of yellow paper on top of the white paper. "Please stop playing with that and finish your work", I directed her in my firm teacher voice. Unimpressed with me or my directions she continued to be distracted by her papers. Like many teachers would do, I walked over, picked up her papers and placed them out of her reach. She wasn't happy with me, but she did complete the work that had been assigned to her. Then the dream was over.
This morning waiting for me on the counter in the bathroom was a strange sight. A Kleenex box with a spiral notebook and several green Kleenex's on top. Normally the Kleenex box and the notebook are next to my bed. Instantly I was aware that my dream had some sleep walking attached to it. Ever wonder what you really do when you are sleeping?
What I learned
God will speak to us in our dreams.

In the last days,' God says, 'I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.Acts 2:17 NLV

What does He want us to learn?
In Genesis 40 &41 Joseph was able to interpret dreams, but we have to think about what meaning if any our dreams have. Identifying the source of a dream is very important. 

If the dream is from God, we need to find out what He is saying and what He would like us to doIf we don't know if it is from God, we still can bring it before Him and ask Him how to process it. Dreams can be used by God to produce change in us. For example, if the dream produces some fear in us, we could invite Him into those areas of our lives and give Him the control there. Only then can He work to change and transform us.

In this dream I believe He wants me to stop being distracted by things that are not a part of His plan for me. This is going to require some work. I'll let you know what I come up with. There was also a warning for me, He will remove the things that are distracting me if I do not listen to Him. 

All of that from a silly little dream. Thanks God!

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Looking for Love



Years ago when I was in middle school I longed for love. Not the average everyday middle school crushes but love. I was searching for it, desperately seeking for what seemed to missing. This search resulted in a variety of troubled situations that I found myself in.The song lyrics are flooding my brain, "Looking for love in all the wrong places".  

As I searched for this evasive love in relationships, activities and drinking I found plenty of wrong places. Even now over 30 years later, I have to fight against the feelings of shame and confusion as I recount the choices that I made as a young girl searching for love.

That time was so confusing to me. My family was loving, caring and nothing bad had happened in my life. We didn't attend church, but I had learned about Jesus at Released Time Christian Education in elementary school and was trying to know more about Him. Why was I so consumed with wanting to feel loved? This search which led me down paths that were so dangerous continued for several years.

One glorious night in my first year of high school as I sat with hundreds of students, my heart found what I had been searching for. The message of Jesus, his unconditional love and forgiveness were explained to me. "I want that!" 
 It didn't matter what I had done, or what others had done to me, what paths I had walked or ran down, all that mattered was His grace, His love, His sacrifice, Jesus.
I couldn't believe it, My search was over! The search yes, but the past had only just begun to haunt me. I still struggled. Two years later the real reason why I had been searching for love became apparent to me. One night my dreams were filled with reoccurring unsettling scenes of a young girl and man alone together. This was the first time that any memories of being abused had surfaced. God had protected me by suppressing the memories.

When I awoke, everything made sense. The confusion about love, the endless searching for acceptance and self worth, the desperation to belong all became very clear. All I knew was that Jesus was with me and that He would lead me through the healing that was necessary.




His Grace has been showered onto me. 
His grace has restored what had been taken. 
His grace has filled my heart with singing. 
His grace has given me a hope and a future.

Living through this has been a difficult road. One that has required work, prayer, grace and forgiveness. I will be sharing more about this in future posts.

We all have a past, we all have made choices that haunt us, we all need His grace to cover us and restore us. Thank you Lord for showering us with your grace, loving sacrifice, forgiveness and peace.

To learn more about My grace story part 2 "The Invitation"

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Where can I find So Delicious Ice cream?

  I might be slightly addicted to this ice cream! So Delicious ice cream is one of the few sweet treats that I allow myself since starting on our paleo foods. After locating it at Meijer our local grocery store, I was excited to have a bowl of it. 

Last night was the perfect night to have my treat, so into the freezer I went. There I found ice cubes, chicken, blueberries, opened bags of peas and green beans but NO ice cream!  
  • Immediately, I went into the blame game! "Did Kevin eat all of it?" 
  • Then, I started self doubting, "Did I even buy it?" 
  • Lastly, I reviewed the day I bought the ice cream trying to recall where the ice cream could have ended up. I remembered bringing the groceries into the house where most found their regular resting places within the refrigerator or in the pantry. I bought vegetables, fruit, canned tomatoes, ice cream, chicken and sweet potato chips. 

Nowhere did I remember putting the ice cream.  Saddened, I made a cup of tea and walked out of the kitchen, slightly sulking!

In the morning I began to rethink the ice cream dilemma, "maybe it fell out of the bag and is in the back of the car" I thought as I walked into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. It is still pretty cold in Michigan, I had convinced myself that even if the ice cream was in the car it would be cold enough and OK to consume. Before I left for work I checked the car, No Ice cream.
On the way home from work (five days after I had bought the ice cream) out of nowhere, the answer to the missing ice cream flooded my brain. The canned tomatoes! I said it out loud!
The four cans of tomatoes were in a plastic grocery bag sitting on the shelf in the pantry. I had not looked in the bag before because I did not think it was possible for the ice cream to be with the canned goods. Like a dog hunting down it's bone I walked into the house, straight to the pantry, opened the bag, and there it was! Unfortunately, I had to throw it out. 

What did I learn?
Don't keep groceries in their plastic bags,and Ice cream belongs in the freezer!

I also learned that my first instinct when something goes wrong is to blame others! Ouch that one hurt!  Quickly I am reminded that I must examine the log in my own eyes, before I blame others.

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye Matthew 7:5

Second I learned that God will give me the answers, sometimes I may have to wait for them, but the answers will come.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

Now where is that Ice cream??

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