I am in love with Christmas time.
I have always felt this way about December. I attribute most of my Christmas obsession to
my dad. We like to call him Mr.
Christmas. He worked hard to create
special traditions every year. One
tradition I loved was when he got the Christmas movies down from the
attic. He would hide them away all year
long and the day after Thanksgiving they would come out of hibernation. He would be standing on the ladder, box in
hand, as I shouted for White Christmas
and jumped with glee.
My dad also made sure that we knew the real reason we
celebrated Christmas. We would be sure
to go the church in our Christmas best.
I have fond memories of matching Christmas dresses for me and my sister
and cool crisp mornings walking into the church on Christmas Day to celebrate
our Savior’s birth.
With all these memories dancing like sugarplums in my head
through the years you can bet your bottom dollar that I had big plans for
December. Advent activities, hot
chocolate parties, cookie baking, and of course some Pinterest crafts were all
on the docket.
Most importantly, I had planned on using these activities to
teach The Bug, my 2 ½ year old, who gets mad if I leave the ½ out, about the
reason we celebrate Christmas.
But then, something unexpected happened…life happened and my plans got put on the back burner and then the
burner behind that one.
Being a mama to a 6 month old and a toddler has taught me
over and over again to let go of my daily expectations. I have learned that to thrive I need to
embrace the unexpected. Otherwise, I
walk around thoroughly disappointed and downright cranky…teaching things I’m
not intending to teach.
Ironically, coincidentally or providentially, it seems that
it is when the unexpected hits and expectations are held loosely enough to be
forgotten that the lessons I desperately want learned find a way into my
ordinary circumstances. His unexpected
cameo in the midst of my “big plans” always steals the show.
It was one of these unexpected interruptions that has caused
this Advent season to be one I will never forget.
A week ago, Sunday, after soaking in my guilt of failure
from another week not being what I had planned it to be I heard a whisper. We were at church and the Bug was in my
arms.
“Take her in the Sanctuary.”
I shooed the thought away like an annoying gnat or an
absurdity I gave a second’s worth to.
Again, the thought rang in my ears.
“But, that’s breaking the rules.” I said, answering the quiet tug.
(Kids have to be 3 and up to come into the adult worship
service.)
I couldn’t shake it.
So, I snuck my 2 ½ year old into the sanctuary. We stood in the back. The Spirit of worship was thick. I couldn’t help it. I raised my empty arm and closed my
eyes. I engaged in the moment.
A few minutes later I opened my eyes, and what did I see,
but my sweet Bug, hand in the air just like me.
Unexpected.
Beautiful. A lesson I so
desperately want her to learn.
She can tell me that it’s Baby Jesus’ birthday. She knows that the wise men brought gold,
frankincense and myrrh. She can name all
the figurines in our nativity. For this
I am grateful, but it was the unexpected lesson she learned that I will remember
most from this Advent season.
My Bug learned a posture of worship. I know that you don’t have to raise your arms
in the air to worship God but I also know that the posture we take in our
worship is important. I raise my hands
because if I don’t I will burst. Some
days it’s my posture of praise and thanksgiving other days it’s my posture of
grief and desperation. Either way, it is
how I turn to God and say, “In this mess, I am yours.” The Bug saw my posture and something made her
decide to try it too. I always try to
remember how my kids will learn from my example but this lesson was
so…unexpected.
Christmas time with little ones is magical. Their enthusiasm and excitement can be so
contagious. Their smiles and belly
laughs light up our home like a Christmas tree.
I can’t wait for even more memories as future Christmas’ come and go.
However, I will never forget that one moment I had with the
Bug. There weren’t any Christmas lights,
there wasn’t any hot chocolate and the Advent calendar was at home collecting
dust. But, she still learned an
important lesson in spite of my plans going awry.
My Christmas wish this year is that her sweet moment of
mimic will turn into a heart that worships with abandon and I will continue to
unexpectedly teach her so.
Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy,
when I cry to you for help, when I lift
up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary. Psalm 28:2
Allison
I'm just your average prodigal daughter who went looking for love, fame and fortune in all the wrong places. When I finally came to my senses I was lavished upon. I am passionate about life and my relationships: my husband, whom I call "fly," and my sweet children, "The Bug" and "Little Man," and the people who still love me in my messiness. I have a strong infatuation with musicals, Shakespeare and 90's top hits. Nothing makes me more angry than injustice, especially when it's done to "the least of these." I believe with every ounce of my being that God takes our messes and creates beauty...so here's to my beautiful mess.
Read more at Allison's blog A Beautiful mess
Day 29
