The black cloud

For the last few days I have been having a pity party. Like vultures circling overhead, there have been thoughts. Thoughts about being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, young enough, strong enough, etc. etc.


It was as if a black smoldering cloud was hovering overhead!  Following me every where I went and slowly encroaching in on me. 


Now before you feel badly for me, There is not;

a family crisis

a death

sickness

disaster

Just me, not smiling, trying not to feel, pushing back any emotions that do surface, walking under a cloud

Why? I am not really sure. Maybe it is a result of all of the things we saw and experienced while serving people in Guatemala or it could be the looming questions that I have been wrestling with. 


Whatever it is, I have had enough! I choose what is good! I choose the life that has been promised! I choose the truth of God's word!


This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

I am going to focus on what is good and true. God has told us in His word what he believes about us. 

I choose to believe that; 

He made me

He loves me

He chose me

He forgave me

He has filled me

He has a plan for me

He is with me

Father, I choose to receive the love that you offer me. I will look at your promises and not at the black cloud! Thank you for bringing me back to the truth and not allowing me to fall into the pit. Jann