What is he doing with his coat unzipped in this kind of weather? There he was, not dressed well for the weather that was way below 20°. On this day it was only 1° There he stood in his snow boots, hat, warm jacket that was completely unzipped with no gloves or mittens on his hands. Staring at him I had so many questions.
Where's your mama? Aren't you cold? Why do you come so unprepared when the weather is so freezing? How is it that for you?
Deeper questions came into my mind as well. They made me think of moments that I felt cold and alone unable to take care of myself. I felt those feelings recently when I spent time with my mom. Now it requires extra amounts of patience because of her dementia. There are those moments when I feel cold and alone. Not knowing scares me, often terrifies me if I only look at it. It feels like a deep vacuum of not knowing questions.
How long I have with her
How long this stage will last
If there will come a time that she doesn't remember me
I feel cold as if my jacket is open and I feel so vulnerable.
It is a constant struggle to trust Jesus to completely take care of me. I have issues with control.The truth is that God is faithful and I can rely on the love He has for us. I John 4:16 Because of this fact no mater how cold or alone I feel, I can confidently say, "It is well with my soul".
When do you feel cold, alone and vulnerable?
Jesus thank you that you were the one that comes in and zips up my jacket, tells me to be warm in your love and to be comforted by your embrace. I am warmed knowing that you have all things ready. I take comfort in your plans for me.