I can do everything because of Jesus!

Guest blog

“I did it” I exclaimed as I did a little jump in the air!  I had just finished talking in front of church in front of A LOT of people.  And not just once, but twice.  It was one of the best days of my life!!

Growing up, I was always one of the shy, quiet kids.  I did have a couple of shining moments in junior high, like when I won the school spelling bee (my winning word was casserole), and reciting the Gettysburg Address word for word in about 30 seconds in front of my entire history class.  There’s where my memories of having confidence stop.  High school is when my memories of low self-esteem and anxiety begin.  I had my first panic attack when I had to talk in front of people.  I don’t know why it happened.  I didn’t like it.  I was embarrassed, and I did my best to avoid situations where there was the potential for it to happen again.  I know I missed out on a lot of opportunities because I was afraid, but life was easier that way.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

Things began to change for me in the fall of 2009 when I started going to Corinth Reformed Church.  God began to work in my life in so many wonderful ways, and one of the areas was my fear.  I wanted to get involved and get to know people and take advantage of opportunities where I could grow in my faith.  This meant stepping out of my comfort zone, which made me very nervous.  I attended a couple of women’s bible studies to begin with.  I really didn’t say a whole lot at either one, but just the fact that I went was a big step for me.  I was also part of a life group.  The night before the group started I was so nervous that I almost changed my mind and decided not to go.  I did go, and it ended up being such a wonderful experience for me.  The next year when life groups met again, I was co-leading one!!

I also took over as the volunteer coordinator for when our church makes a pancake breakfast at Degage.  That meant leading a group of volunteers and saying the prayer before breakfast in front of about 150 people.  I never thought I would be the one standing in front of all those people with a microphone in my hand saying a prayer.  I was definitely nervous the first time, but I prayed that God would give me the courage to do what He had called me to do, and He did.  That was in May of 2011.  I had no idea then that just five months later I would be doing something even bigger than that.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13

In October of 2011, I attended a women’s conference at our church.  On the last day we brought our struggles to the foot of the cross to give them over to God.  I laid down my feelings of inadequacy and my fear. 

I told God that day “if you want me to talk in front of people I will.” 

 Two weeks later He was giving me the opportunity to do it.  I was thinking, “Wow God you sure didn’t waste any time.”  My first chance was talking in front of a small group of women at bible study to share about a service project.  That same day I also got an email from the pastor asking me if I would talk in front of church on Sunday about my experience at Degage.  I thought he had to be joking.  Why would he ask someone like me, whose biggest fear in life is public speaking, to do something like that?  I told him I would see how Thursday night went, and if that went well, I would speak on Sunday morning.  Thursday night went great.  I told myself, “talking in front of 13 women can’t be that much different than talking in front of 1,000 people right?”  So that weekend I wrote my speech, practiced it in front of whoever would listen, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed.  I reminded myself that I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.  I was so nervous that weekend and on Sunday morning, but I got up on the stage and I DID IT!!!  And it was absolutely one of the best days of my life.  To accomplish something I never thought I could do, and being totally reliant on God for the help to do it, was INCREDIBLE!!

If you would have told me three years ago that I would be standing in front of church talking, I would have said “no way, I don’t think so.”  Looking back I see that God was using all those smaller experiences to prepare me for that Sunday morning at church.  I have learned that being obedient to God can be scary at times, but when we are faithful, He enables us to do what it is He calls us to do.  I still get nervous when I know I am going to be in a group of people or doing something I haven’t done before, but I remind myself that if we supply the willingness, God will supply the power.  I am excited to see what God has planned for me next!

Emily

Emily loves to serve in any way that she can.  Her willingness to learn and grow has resulted in some exciting opportunities! Love your your heart friend!