The Roller Coaster of Emotions

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. While on vacation in California, my Mom who has Alzheimer's is in Michigan.  What a blessing it has been that my Aunt Phyllis has been staying with her while I am gone. However, each time the phone rings, I take a deep breath and pray before answering. 

I am never sure if it will be good news, bad news, confusion or anger coming to me. Like a roller coaster the events come in waves of highs and lows.  

This is hard to admit- but sometimes, I just don't want to answer. It's as if the roller coaster has begun the long climb upwards, (clickity clack, clickity clack) and I know that the downhill is coming so I close my eyes.  As if closing my eyes and hiding myself form the reality of the situation will protect me!  At that moment, rational or not, "Not knowing feels better than knowing".

I know that I am not alone that many have and are going through this with their loved ones.  But for the record, I just want to say, "I don't like Alzheimer's" !

Alzheimer's Facts

What I learned

A little song came rushing into my head as I wrote this blog. You are my Hiding Place

You are my hiding place.

You always fill my heart,

With songs of deliverance.

Whenever I am afraid,

I will trust in You.

I will trust in You.

Let the weak say,

I am strong,

In the strength of the Lord.

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3

When I am afraid, I need to trust, to hide away in Jesus. He alone can calm the nervousness and anxiety that I feel. Trusting Him means that I will let go and open my eyes to watch Him work, watch Him direct and comfort, watch Him and follow His lead. 

Help me Jesus to ride with you!