Moment by Moment

I had the great pleasure recently of being part of the IF:Gathering both in Austin Texas in February and then here locally at our home church Corinth Reformed for our IF:Corinth gathering. One of the speakers was Laura Sobiech whose son fought a courageous battle with cancer and then eventually he passed away. This mother spoke of how her family made each day count knowing that death was looming around the corner. You can read more about it at fly a little higher.

I could not help but correlate the anguish, heartache and uncertainty that I felt with my mom’s dementia.

Questions kept racing through my mind,

How will I tell her it’s time for her to get more care?

Where’s the best place for her?

How will her dear friend Dale feel when we move her?

Will she fight me when I tell her it’s time?

How will I possibly resist those childlike eyes that look at me and say,” I don’t want to go, I’m scared?”

While I was listening to this mom share her story of heartbreak she said something that has stuck with me.

“We did it moment by moment. We didn’t look ahead to what was going to come, although we were prepared for that, we took every moment, embraced it and lived in it.

This is only possible by the grace of God!

This week will be one of those moments I have the blessing of sharing with my mom. Every day has a new moment. Every day has a new phone call from my mom asking, when she can come home, telling me how scared she is.

I’m asking God for the grace to get through those moments and the next ones.

I’m holding tightly to the His promise that, my grace is sufficient for you.

Jesus promises that He will be with me. I’m banking on it, trusting and it believing it, embracing it, living it today!

What do you need his grace for today? How will you hold on to his promise of being with you today? Who needs to hear this promise that you could share this with?

Living in the moment filled with His grace and his promises.

Looking for Love

Years ago when I was in middle school I longed for love. Not the average everyday middle school crushes but love. I was searching for it, desperately seeking for what seemed to missing. This search resulted in a variety of troubled situations that I found myself in.The song lyrics are flooding my brain, "Looking for love in all the wrong places".  

As I searched for this evasive love in relationships, activities and drinking I found plenty of wrong places. Even now over 30 years later, I have to fight against the feelings of shame and confusion as I recount the choices that I made as a young girl searching for love.

That time was so confusing to me. My family was loving, caring and nothing bad had happened in my life. We didn't attend church, but I had learned about Jesus at Released Time Christian Education in elementary school and was trying to know more about Him. Why was I so consumed with wanting to feel loved? This search which led me down paths that were so dangerous continued for several years.

One glorious night in my first year of high school as I sat with hundreds of students, my heart found what I had been searching for. The message of Jesus, his unconditional love and forgiveness were explained to me. "I want that!" 

 It didn't matter what I had done, or what others had done to me, what paths I had walked or ran down, all that mattered was His grace, His love, His sacrifice, Jesus.

I couldn't believe it, My search was over! The search yes, but the past had only just begun to haunt me. I still struggled. Two years later the real reason why I had been searching for love became apparent to me. One night my dreams were filled with reoccurring unsettling scenes of a young girl and man alone together. This was the first time that any memories of being abused had surfaced. God had protected me by suppressing the memories.

When I awoke, everything made sense. The confusion about love, the endless searching for acceptance and self worth, the desperation to belong all became very clear. All I knew was that Jesus was with me and that He would lead me through the healing that was necessary.

His Grace has been showered onto me. 

His grace has restored what had been taken. 

His grace has filled my heart with singing. 

His grace has given me a hope and a future.

Living through this has been a difficult road. One that has required work, prayer, grace and forgiveness. I will be sharing more about this in future posts.

We all have a past, we all have made choices that haunt us, we all need His grace to cover us and restore us. Thank you Lord for showering us with your grace, loving sacrifice, forgiveness and peace.

To learn more about My grace story part 2 "The Invitation"

Les Miserables- A Grace Story

We ventured out to watch Les Miserables and were not disappointed. This was my first full understanding of this sweeping love story. What overwhelmed me was the grace story that was woven throughout. As Jean Valjean cried out in this song, the gospel was beautifully proclaimed.

What Have I Done?

Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for God above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me.

One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack
Instead he offers me my freedom
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?

Jean Valjean had found rest with the Bishop and yet stole from him, running into the night. In the next scene he is kneeling before the one that he has wronged, with the local authorities declaring his guilt.

Nothing that Jean could do or say could cleanse him of his guilt. Stepping to the front, the Bishop declares that the stolen silver was indeed a gift! As if that wasn't enough, he also reminds Valjean that he had forgotten the candlesticks, and lets him go, a free man.

What a beautiful representation of mercy and grace.
Mercy-canceling the debt of Jean Valjean
Grace- gifting him with the candlesticks

The Bishop so beautifully displayed the good news message of the gospel.
~We are all condemned and can not possibly pay our debt.
~Jesus has personally sacrificed and paid our debt for us gifting us with salvation, eternal life and the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Grace is freely given, however, the effects of this gift will forever change you. The Bishop reminds Jean of this.

But remember this, my brother
See in this some higher plan
You must use this precious silver
To become an honest man
By the witness of the martyrs
By the Passion and the Blood
God has raised you out of darkness
I have bought your soul for God!.

Les Miserables is an intense contrasting story of those who have embraced mercy with those who are merciless. Embracing the mercy that has been shown to them has softened their hearts, while those who have closed the door on mercy only become harder. Receiving mercy for some changed them and gave them grace as well. This gift of grace was then freely shared with others. Rejecting the effects of mercy, showing no mercy to others resulted in the merciless ultimately rejecting the gift of grace with an end result of hardened hearts and broken lives.

Jesus offers this grace to us.

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8)

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23, NLT

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you.” Isaiah 30:18

Have you embrace the mercy and grace that He offers you?
Who can you share this mercy and grace with?




.

Guest Blog -My Grace story

My story is one of His Grace, Love and Forgiveness.  Fifteen years ago I was in a very different place in my life.  I was in a relationship with a man that was far from Honoring God in any way.  I became pregnant, we really never discussed it with each other, and his response to me was to give me the money for an abortion.  That told me that he did not intend to support me if I decided to keep the baby.  I was young and did not have the means to support myself very well let alone myself and a child.  I did not want to shame my family or become a statistic of unwed mothers with children.  So I decided it would be best to terminate my pregnancy.

I made and appointment with the clinic, the day of my appointment was a beautiful bright sunny day in the middle of August.  They took me back and did what they call counseling.  This is where they tell you that your baby is not a baby; it is just a clump of cells.  At this point I am ready to get this over with.  The next step was to do an ultrasound to see how far along I was, which turned out that I was about 6 ½ weeks along, so they told me that they could do the procedure with no problems.  You must be at least 6 weeks pregnant before they will do the procedure.  The next room they put me in was the actual procedure room.  It was very sterile and white; the procedure table was directly under a skylight.  As I lay there waiting for this to be done, all I could do was feel like I was making the worst mistake of my life.  It was too late, the procedure had already started. 

All I could do was stare out at the clear blue sky as this happened.  My thoughts at that time were all of God and how it was as if He had a window to my soul that day.  I did not like how I was feeling as this all came to an end that day.

I went home that evening and tried to justify what I had done, I did this for several days without really telling anyone  (one friend did go with me and try to talk me out of it, but my mind was made up that day).  This friend was amazing, she was there to talk to and did not judge me for what I had done.  As the week went on the guilt of what I had done was eating me alive.  The following weekend I tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills. 

As I sat on my bed waiting for the pills to take affect I heard a voice say to me “RaeAnn, this is not what I want for your life.”  And in one swift movement I was regurgitating the pills.  

Later  I talked with my one friend and she suggested that I talk to someone that we worked with.  This lady’s husband was a youth pastor at a church.  She thought that maybe this lady would be able to talk with me and help me through this or maybe her husband would be able to point me in the right direction for some help.

I did meet with this lady and her husband about 2 weeks after my abortion at their church, he made some calls on my behalf the following week and found a Bible based abortion recovery program called Mourning Joy Ministries.  I went with it but was a bit unsure of how I felt about this at first. I was afraid that God would never be able to forgive me for what I had done.

The youth pastor’s wife went with me for my initial meeting with the leader of the recovery group and I did feel a little better about things as far as going through with this group thing.  In the meantime I continued attending their church every Sunday and along with going through the recovery program I began to see just how God sees His children.  I was amazed at the love and forgiveness that I was experiencing. 

This verse helped me to understand how God saw me:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:13-15

As I continued to dwell on that verse and go to my group and church,  my life began to change and for the first time ever in my life I knew what It meant to want to live for someone Greater than myself.  Six months later I made a Profession of Faith in this church. Later I began to serve in our youth ministry and have been serving God ever since.

It is amazing how God works. He can will take something so terrible and bring something good from it.  I have had the privilege to share about my experience with others at events and in a ministry to help others that have been through the same thing, so they too may experience God’s Grace and Forgiveness.

Please remember this, 

for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8

 I also believe that there are no chance happenings in life.  God places people in your path for a reason.  My two friends that helped me through this horrible time in my life were a huge part in me turning my life over to Christ.  If it had not been for their love and support I do not know what may have become of my life.  But because of Christ in them, they loved me and did not judge me & they taught me what it is to be Christ Like.  I am eternally grateful to them for investing so much into my life. 

RaeAnn

Thank you for sharing your story of God's healing grace with us RaeAnn!

For more information

www.abortionrecovery.org is the ARIN network which stands for Abortion Recovery International  & is based in California has a lot of information for almost any place internationally .  They have a 24 hour help line 1-800-712-4357

www.hopeafterabortion.com is a link to Project Rachel for people in the Catholic denomination all over the United States.

www.michiganpregnancy.com is in the state of Michigan – Michigan Pregnancy Resource Centers

Inexcusable

When I read this I did not like it! 

Not because I dislike God forgiving me, but rather because I fall so short in forgiving others.

Through the years we all have been hurt by people. The list varies for all of us. 

We may have experienced

Abuse, alcoholism, affairs, anger, abandoned

Beatings, backstabbing, belittling

Cruelty, cheating, coldness

Divorce, death, denials

Emptiness, envy

Failures, foolishness, fighting

Gossip, 

Hidden agendas, hopes dashed

I could go on and on.

I am right there with you. Even after I have asked for God to help me to forgive someone, that intense feeling still remains. I have cried out to God more times than anyone knows, "What they have done is inexcusable"! 

Gently, softly I hear His voice, "forgive, as I have forgiven you." Colossians 3:13 So I try again to forgive and move on. This is not easy for me and has taken so long to see any growth in.

Just the other day I drove by a place that usually filled me with anger. This day, this wonderful day, I felt nothing! Oh the joy of freedom from that hold on me!

On the other hand, I am still struggling with one particular hurt! This time when I cry out that their behavior is inexcusable I hear His voice saying to me "Let it go, my grace is sufficient". II Corinthians 12:9

I am selfish! His grace is sufficient, but I have not wanted to extend that grace to others. I am the one who has acted in an inexcusable way!

Father, you have been so gracious and patient with me. Forgive me for being ungrateful! Change my inexcusable behavior and attitude. Fill me to overflowing with your grace and forgiveness that is extended to others. Thank you for your freedom that you grace gives. Jann

Zody's

It was a warm, Late August afternoon in sunny California. The year was 1974 and I was in the 7^th grade.  This time period is very vivid for me. Maybe it is because of where we went that day, or because of the excitement of being a 7^th grader, I remember it well!

On this day my mother said the most exciting news, "We are going to Zody’s!”  This made my heart skip a beat! My mind began to race as I started categorizing my shopping list. After all, school was starting in a few weeks and I was in Junior High.  Zody’s was the local, economical, department store. The precursor to Target or Walmart.

We walked into the store and there before my eyes was the most beautiful sweater that I had ever seen!  A brown and orange striped sweater beckoned me to it. I knew instantly that this was on the must have list! After trying it on and lovingly admiring myself in the mirror, I showed it to my mom.

“This is kinda expensive, how about this one instead?”, my heart sank as she made the suggestion that my perfect sweater might not be going home with me! Could she not see the incredible value and beauty of it? This purchase meant that I would be cool, pretty, skinny and popular if I could just get it out of the store and wear it to school! 

Seeing the devastated look on my face, my mother made a final proposal that I look around the store and if I really wanted the sweater, I would have to reduce my amount of back to school clothing. Ouch! This was going to be difficult, but the longer the sweater was hanging on my arm, and close to me I knew that it had to be mine!

Honestly, I have no idea what else was bought that day! All I know is that the sweater and I went home together and we had some great times in 1974!

Have you ever longed for that perfect purchase? The one that would make all of your dreams come true?

Perhaps for you it is:

Clothing

Furniture

Car

Home

Jewelry

Unfortunately these things don’t satisfy for long. We can end up wishing we never spent that money or craving for even more!

The most import transaction that we can make in our lives actually requires no money, but all that we have!

The good news is that this transaction is more precious than silver and more costly than Gold. Psalm 119:72 

It will not tarnish, it is renewed every morning! Lamentations 3:23

It is God’s Grace! Romans 3:23-26

Do you know it? Have you received it?

This grace is better than any purchase, any transaction and is guaranteed for eternity!

Thank you Father, that your grace is better than any purchase! Thank you that you give it freely to everyone who calls on your name and declares Jesus Christ as Lord. I am humbled by your love for us! 
Jann

Grace Abounds

Almost a year ago as I was driving past a mobile home park, I heard the Lord say to me, "go there". I kept on driving,  I knew what He was asking and frankly I pretended that I did not hear. 


The next time I went by, I heard Him again say, "Go in there". I kept on driving but this time I replied with, "I don't have any more time"! 
Months later, I drove by this mobile home park and i began to wonder, "what does the Lord have for me here"? I still kept on driving.


This month, the Lord reminded me that He had a plan for me to carry out. All I could do was throw up my hands and say yes! What happened as soon as I said yes is a remarkable yet oh so gracious way that God works.


As soon as I said yes to God, several other women joined me in this journey of exploration.  We had been studying Acts and had seen the way that God had told Paul to Get up, Go, and then he would be told his assignment. After meeting and praying we went to look at the mobile home park and explore. 
What we found was grace, after grace, after grace!


Grace #1

Upon arriving at the community center of the park we discovered that the address was 7777! 
We were excited to see God's number welcoming us! We stopped and prayed at the door. 


Grace #2
We called the office number that was listed and discovered that the owners of the park were Christians and that one of them attended our church and the other was in a small group with one of our friends!


Grace #3
We spent a day passing out flyer's for a harvest festival.  Our small team went door to door inviting people. Some invited us in. One family told us that they were hoping for someone to offer something for Halloween.


Grace #4
Many people donated candy, costumes, prizes and food for the event.


Grace #5
On the day of the event, I drove around the park nervously looking for children to invite.  I was having cold feet and was having difficulty trusting that God would give us abounding grace. We stopped at a house, knocked on the door and inside were 2 of my students! They were visiting their Grandma!


Grace #6
At 1:00 there was a line at the door of young and old eager to participate in our festival! His grace was abounding in numbers and in wonderful conversations!


Grace #7

People kept asking us why we were there? They wondered if we lived in the park. They were curious to why we would love on them this way. We simply answered, "God brought us here".

Thank you Lord for speaking, even when I pretend to be hard of hearing. Your grace flows down! I am so excited to find out what the next assignment is going to be!

 Brag on God Fridays

Don't let them steal your fruit!

"In the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feel like a decision to reward my enemy. But in the shadow of the cross, forgiveness is merely a gift from one undeserving soul to another." Andy Stanley 

When I read this I knew what God was trying to tell me.  I had unforgiveness in my heart.  Like a growing root it had taken residence. Each time I remembered it, the thought fed and nourished the disdain.


The bible has warned us over and over again about not loving, not forgiving, not sharing grace.  The effects of this lifestyle are evident!  These things rob us of the joy that God wants us to experience!


What lurks in us can be revolting, unlikable, stinky! Not exactly reflecting
the glory of God!

Have you ever had ants infiltrate your home?  It seems as though there is no way to get rid of them.  They are on your counters, in your trash, in the walls, everywhere! These creatures find a way in and continue to come as long as there is something there to nourish them.  If there is no food, they go somewhere else.


Ants are like an unforgiving spirit. It hovers around us looking for something to take away. Eventually, robbing us of the fruit of the Spirit. We must clean up the mess, so that those "thoughts" have nothing to feed on!


But what are we to do with thoughts like these? 

Give them up!

Stop holding onto them. 

Make it right if there is a wrong.

Ask God to bless the person, business, church, family, agency that you have 

bad feelings toward.

Yes, I said to ask God to bless them!

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you 

 Matthew 5:43-44

When you offer this to God, and ask Him to bless. Slowly the hold of this hurt begins to let go.  As if one finger at a time is being unpeeled from the situation. You can feel the building anger and deep hurt slowly begin to fade.  

This is NOT easy and it takes some time.  Each time the angry, accusing thought about that person infiltrates you heart and mind, try uttering these words, "Bless them Lord".

We are to follow in our Father's ways. 

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Micah 7:18-19

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25

Father, the ugly truth is that I have unforgiveness in my heart!  Bless those that I have felt hurt from. Release the hold that this has had on me. Restore to me your joy. I want to live in you freedom and love.  Growing in showing your grace. 

Grace is a way of life.

Ouch! I saw this sign yesterday and I have to say it was like someone reached right out of it and pierced my heart!


I love God's grace. I love the saying, "God's Riches at Christ's Expense!" I love that God has lavished His grace on me!  I love that I can not earn it. I love His grace.


We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved. Acts 15:11

Grace, grace God's grace,

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace,God's grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 

I have a problem sharing that grace, that beautiful, undeserved grace on others. Like a spoiled child that has been given everything, yet refuses to share her belongings. 

This morning I had a conversation with God. It went like this;
Lord, I pray for _______. I know that you created this person, but I just don't like them. Could you just change them into this type of person.

"Jann, I created them exactly the way that I wanted. When you choose not to lavish my grace on someone you are saying that I made a mistake in creating them."

"Who are you, my friend, to talk back to God? A clay pot does not ask the man who made it, Why did you make me like this? After all, the man who makes the pots has the right to use the clay as he wishes, and to make two pots from the same lump of clay, one for special occasions and the other for ordinary use. Romans 9:20-21 (GNT)

As God lovingly, rebuked my selfishness and ungratefulness. It was as if He 

reached right out of these verses and pierced my heart!

His Grace and love is for everyone, not just who we think is deserving

Father, Your grace is amazing! I acknowledge my ungrateful heart. 

Thank you for teaching me that your grace is for everyone! 

You are stretching and growing me and it hurts a little. 

Thank you for piercing my heart. Jann