The lessons I am Learning- Lesson #1

At this time in my life I am shocked by how much I am learning.

It seems as though there are lessons to be learned around every corner,

In every joyful situation,

In the midst of conversation,

Within difficulties and painful events,

In beautiful sunsets and starry skies

Listening to the rainfall and taking in the sunshine.

I am not sure if my eyes have been opened and therefore I am more teachable or if God is shouting in the midst of the painful period that involves caring for my mom with dementia.

Because I have nothing else to rely on with this disease of dementia I cling to God. Often this is my prayer.

Show me your ways, Lord,
teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:4-5

Lesson #1- Mom needs to feel Safe and Not Alone

Yesterday I was frustrated with her insistent pleads to come home from rehab. It seemed that the harder I tried to explain that she was going to be fine the more she cried out. On one hand it broke my heart to watch her cry in deep distress and anxiety, but on the other hand I just wanted her to relax and settle in with where she was at. My heart was so torn.

In the evening we had very loud thunderstorms that rattled our home. Our dog Spunky is so afraid and needy when these occur. In the midst of her repeated attempts to find comfort, she cradled herself as close to me as possible. You might find this to be a cute, sweet scene but at 2 am it didn’t appear that way to me. As I tried to comfort her I was reminded of my mother who also was so afraid of being alone. She just wants to be reminded that she is not alone.

This lesson is true of every person I know, no one wants to feel alone in this world. For my mom, the afternoon and evening time is like the resounding clatter of thunder. It stirs up fear and anxiety that whisper to her the lie that no one is there for her.

My job is to remind her that God is always present.  Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5