Looking for Love

Years ago when I was in middle school I longed for love. Not the average everyday middle school crushes but love. I was searching for it, desperately seeking for what seemed to missing. This search resulted in a variety of troubled situations that I found myself in.The song lyrics are flooding my brain, "Looking for love in all the wrong places".  

As I searched for this evasive love in relationships, activities and drinking I found plenty of wrong places. Even now over 30 years later, I have to fight against the feelings of shame and confusion as I recount the choices that I made as a young girl searching for love.

That time was so confusing to me. My family was loving, caring and nothing bad had happened in my life. We didn't attend church, but I had learned about Jesus at Released Time Christian Education in elementary school and was trying to know more about Him. Why was I so consumed with wanting to feel loved? This search which led me down paths that were so dangerous continued for several years.

One glorious night in my first year of high school as I sat with hundreds of students, my heart found what I had been searching for. The message of Jesus, his unconditional love and forgiveness were explained to me. "I want that!" 

 It didn't matter what I had done, or what others had done to me, what paths I had walked or ran down, all that mattered was His grace, His love, His sacrifice, Jesus.

I couldn't believe it, My search was over! The search yes, but the past had only just begun to haunt me. I still struggled. Two years later the real reason why I had been searching for love became apparent to me. One night my dreams were filled with reoccurring unsettling scenes of a young girl and man alone together. This was the first time that any memories of being abused had surfaced. God had protected me by suppressing the memories.

When I awoke, everything made sense. The confusion about love, the endless searching for acceptance and self worth, the desperation to belong all became very clear. All I knew was that Jesus was with me and that He would lead me through the healing that was necessary.

His Grace has been showered onto me. 

His grace has restored what had been taken. 

His grace has filled my heart with singing. 

His grace has given me a hope and a future.

Living through this has been a difficult road. One that has required work, prayer, grace and forgiveness. I will be sharing more about this in future posts.

We all have a past, we all have made choices that haunt us, we all need His grace to cover us and restore us. Thank you Lord for showering us with your grace, loving sacrifice, forgiveness and peace.

To learn more about My grace story part 2 "The Invitation"

Thank you note to Ramona

It has been a while since there has been a blog. Recently I had the privilege to be alongside of my husband and his family as we said goodbye to my mother in law. It has felt in congruent for me to write as I was grieving, almost frivolous. Every event in our lives leaves an impression and this one has left an eternal one in my heart. 

Thank you Ramona

You taught me so much about how to show love to others.  Thank you for giving me a great recipe for it! 

Ramona's Love Recipe

• Welcome people with a big hug.
• Tell people that you are so happy that they are visiting.
• Be concerned about them and their comfort. 
• Offer the best of what you have when a friend is with you.
• Invite people into your home no matter what it looks like.
• Encourage guests to fall asleep on your couch.
• Remember others birthday with a song.
• Be willing to sacrifice for others in need.
• Share your joy with a song or a dance, no matter where you are at! 
• Keep memories alive by sharing stories about people you love.
• Say goodbye as if it were the last time you would see someone.
• Always say "I Love you".

I am forever grateful for these lessons of love that you modeled for me. Thank you for including me in your family, welcoming me into your heart and giving me a beautiful life with your son,

Guest Blog-Lessons from Sydney

Lessons from Sydney #2

“I just love Zoe”.  Not the words you expect from a 6 year old that just had 2 legs broken by a dog.  Now, I knew it wasn’t the dogs fault.  As a matter of fact I was busy blaming myself for not stopping it.  Zoe was only acting like dogs do, and Sydney’s bones were so fragile from being non-weight bearing.  

But Sydney not only forgave her, but was proclaiming her LOVE for her.  Her next move was to call my nephew, the dog’s owner, because she didn’t want him to feel sad. 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Colossians 3:13-14

God calls us not just to forgive each other, but to forgive as he forgave us.  

Without holding grudges

 Without blame, 

and as Sydney reminds us, 

to forgive and to love.

Kami 

You can read more about Sydney's story here.

A Dog's love

Tonight we had a group of people over and at the end of our time together we stood and held hands and prayed.  I was holding my husband's hand and on the other side I was holding the hand of member of the team that was a man.  


As we were praying my dog Spunky sat up and began to put her paw on my hand.  Then she began pawing at the man's hand.  She did not like this man holding my hand.  It was amazing to watch her try and lovingly protect me from what she thought was wrong.

We can learn a lot from Spunky.

1. Don't be afraid to show others how much you care about them.

2. Tell people when you see them going down the wrong path.

3. Keep telling them until they listen.

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Galatians 6:1 NLT

Thank you God for using my dog to remind me that I must show care and concern for others even if it is uncomfortable. 

Home sweet Home!

I don’t know what I would do without the church!

I became a Christ follower at the

age of 14.  From that moment,

 the church has been my

refuge,

confidant,

family,

motivator,

life builder,

strengthener

encourager

home

I love the Church

 because

 Christ loves the church! 

Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her" (Eph 5:25).

Our Mission as the church is to  Luke 10:25-29

1. Love God-With all of yourself 

2. Love Others-Love your neighbor as yourself

By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16 

Father thank you for giving us the church as an example of Christ's love.  Help us to be completely devoted to each other and to your mission for us!