Reflect : Phone Calls

The phone calls from my mom in the middle of the night range from humorous to heart wrenching. Currently she is in a Rehab hospital following a week-long hospital stay. Unfortunately the hospital stay ramped up her dementia to a whole new level. Previous to this stay she forgot things, would get confused and sometimes look at you with a blank stare. Now however, the stares are more often, the confusion is throughout the day and evenings have become a terrifying time for her.

Almost everyday at 5pm she will turn to us and ask, “am I going home with you?” We reassure her that she will be safe at the hospital and that we will see her tomorrow. This is very common with dementia patients and is referred to as Sundowners. After we leave she will call again to say that she wants to go home, we reassure her and she falls asleep. Depending on the night, she may call up to 5 times. In the beginning I answered every call, but now I let it go to voicemail and just pray when the phone vibrates.

At times the calls are very humorous. She has told us that she has been kidnapped, that her bed is in the church chapel, and my favorite one, that she is in someone’s apartment whose name is R.N..

Unfortunately for her these are more than funny calls. They are her cries for help. Usually she asks that I come and get her, that she is scared and wants to go home. My heart has been broken as I listen to her plead over the phone. I can only imagine the torment that she is going through.

This morning’s call gave me some insight to the prison that she is locked within. “Jann, this is your mother, I am downstairs in the basement. I am in my bed and I can’t get out. Please come and help me!”

The Lord helped me see through this call that she feels desperately trapped and alone. How I wish that she could take in and fully grasp how much God loves her.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:18-19

We all have fears that hold us captive. For my mom it is the fear of being alone and not in control. These fears manifest themselves in our actions and thoughts. I also have fears that hold me captive, fears of failure and disappointment. These fears however can be conquered.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Taking every thought captive is difficult but is necessary if I want to be free!

I have to admit, that there have been times that her calls are an inconvenience and I have not wanted to answer. Today my heart has been changed. My mission is to come alongside of her and bring her comfort when she is fearful and remind her that she is loved and chosen by God. He alone can free her from her chains.

You are not forgotten! Jesus has already set you free.

When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Luke 13 :12