Sorrow and Joy

You know it’s eventually coming. Difficult times, testing of your faith, those moments that take your breath away. We prepare for them, we say we have faith in the midst of them, we sing songs that declare, “I believe in the power of Jesus”. I will stand firm.

We cling to the truth, “to be strong and courageous“. And then it comes, the moment that we prepared for. It is in that moment that we realize, nothing can prepare you.

We can only hold on to the One who holds the future, take a deep breath of the Holy Spirit and ask Him to fill us with His strength, power and His peace that passes understanding.

Watching my mom struggle with health issues and dementia has been one of those moments. While I was weeping just this morning my husband asked me, “What brings the tears”? My response was that there’s so many things that bring the tears.  I thought I would share them with you today.

I weep

for what has been lost

for what is being taken away-her memories, her ability to think clearly.

for the unknown because, I do not know how long I’ll have her.

because, I know she’s frustrated and feels so alone.

because, I don’t know what to do

because, selfishly I want it to be over

and I’m not quite sure if I’m strong enough to walk through it.

It’s a good thing that I know Jesus! It’s a good thing that my mom knows Jesus and that even in her confusion He is with her, that he loves her, and he has prepared a place for her.

Today I choose joy in the unknown. These moments with my mom have taught me that I don’t have to have it together. It’s ok if my mom doesn’t have to have her memories because we know the One who holds the future. It is He who is holds her in His arms and who loves and cherishes her.

I choose joy today because, He did not give me a spirit of fear but of a sound mind and of power and I rejoice in that today.

I still believe in His goodness and embrace the joy that is found in Him alone!

Breaking through

posted in Uncategorized by janncobb

It happened today. I can hardly believe it as I look out to the once icy, frozen lake there it was. Water had broken through the ice and was once again flowing on the outside.

It brings me so much joy to see the water flowing because it means that spring is here! I love everything that it implies.

Flowers

New growth

Birds singing

Bike rides

Temperatures that are warm

SPRING!

The water flowing also reminds me that a breakthrough is coming.

I’m reminded of Jesus talking about the living water that is available to us!  He is working to flow through us, to break through the ice that has stopped things up! He longs to have a breakthrough in those icy places of our hearts.

David saw first hand the power of God as He fought the Philistines. I love that he says it was like water breaking through!

So David went to Baal-perazim and defeated the Philistines there. “The LORD did it!” David exclaimed. “He burst through my enemies like a raging flood!” So he named that place Baal-perazim (which means “the Lord who bursts through”). 2 Samuel 5:20

I desire for Him to break through the chains that have so long bound me to past mistakes and regrets. I crave the freedom that only God can give me. I want that breakthrough!

The Holy Spirit is like that water flowing through us, pulsating into our hearts and lives if will allow him to bring us His truth and power.  Only He can break through into those tough area’s .  It is then that breakthrough can come.

But we have to want it! We have to remove the obstacles for him to break through. You may not even know what those obstacles are. If you’re anything like me, it means we need to stop and ask God to show us what those obstacles are. We can live with them for a long time and not even recognize them as obstacles.

For example, I would pride myself in being strong! I can do things by myself. There lies the problem. It’s an obstacle. If I can do it by myself, why do I need God? What do I need the Holy Spirit for? Why do I need the body of Christ?

That obstacle of not needing anyone must be removed from me so that I can embrace community, so that I can allow God to work through me, so I can step aside and let Him do His good and perfect will!

I had for so long lived with this obstacle that I didn’t even recognize that it was stopping me from allowing God to break through.

What’s your obstacle? Where do you need God to breakthrough today? 

The Final week of winter

And so here it is, the final week. The temperatures have begun to rise, the snow is melting, grass has been seen in lawns all over the neighborhood and birds are back. I even saw some geese flying over our house this morning. I had a twinge of excitement because I know that they are fully aware of the signs of the times.

When your life has been cold and even the sun in the sky does not feel warm you long for spring, for something new to come. I can’t tell you the joy that I have when I see little flowers begin to push their way through the frozen ground to get to the sunlight. It’s a sign that spring is here.

I’ve been studying recently the signs of the times when Jesus shall return and what we should be looking for.

Come Lord Jesus come!

I wonder if we long for his return as much as we long for other things?

I know I get so caught up in my life that I sometimes forget the one who gives me life. If indeed He is a reason for being, living, loving, then looking to His return and living like it should be our utmost desire in our attitude, behavior and speech.

Blessed are those who have not seen and believe.

I  love how the amplified version says it

Blessed and happy and to be envied are those who have never seen Me and yet have believed and adhered to and trusted and relied on Me. John 20:29

Spring is coming, Jesus is coming! May we approach spring with excitement because it reminds us that Jesus will come again.

Admitting I don"t have it all together

I confess, I don’t have it all together! For those of you who think that I can do everything and never get upset or come unprepared haven’t really been around me that much. I think we all have this outward persona that makes us want others to think of us in a certain way. For example I’m a teacher and I want people to think that I have thought out every lesson, and am ready to go, never being at at a loss for what to do next. 

It’s the same when I talk about my home.  I like to share about things that I cook. Some people think I cook all the time. Honestly, sometimes I serve my husband chips and hummus for dinner!

Spiritually  this can be true as well. I often show an outward appearance that says, “Yep had my devotions, yes I’ve been praying and I spent time with Jesus. Pretty much,  I have it all together.” 

And then reality hits.

Newsflash, newsflash I don’t have it all together!

Hopefully you’ll still be my friend when you realize that I don’t have all my stuff together. 

 I’d love to be a spiritual giant who studies all day like Beth Moore. Someone who prays without ceasing, never doubts and has faith abundant however, that is not the reality.

I’m human and I make mistakes. I’m not prepared, sometimes I am rude, I get befuddled and sometimes I even have doubts.

I think it’s wise to be real with each other and to share our burdens. This helps us recognize that each of us are human and then gives us the opportunity to lavish grace upon our brothers and sisters.

This is why Jesus shared about judging each other. He urges us to examine ourselves before we look at someone else and to take out that humongous issue in our life (the log) before we say, “oh dear you have a speck in your eye.”

I am preaching to myself here today. I need to extend grace because of knowing who I am and how short I fall.

I stand here grateful that Jesus loves me, messiness and all. He embraces my failures and He sees me as his beloved.

Admitting that I don’t have it together helps me to see how very much I need Jesus, the one who brings order out of the chaos. It also brings an understanding that we are all struggling. There is a sweet unity in knowing that we are in this together.

Father, thank you for holding all things together and loving our frailties. Help me to continue sharing honestly with others knowing your Amazing grace.

I Stepped into a Big Mess

The weather has turned a little warmer and I was so excited to wear flats. If you are not from a cold weather state you may not understand the joy that one would feel to wear flats! But for me, putting flats on and not boots is rather exciting. It means that spring is just around the corner.

On this warm night, as I stepped out in my flats with my husband it felt so good to be just a little bit warmer. I was excited because we were going to a restaurant that we had not been to before. As I went to get out of the truck, icy cold water met my flat and surrounded it. I had stepped into a gigantic puddle. You see warmer temperatures mean that the snow begins to melt and when snow melts, puddles happen. You know that feeling when you're excited to wear flats and your foot submerges in icy cold water? Yes, that's the feeling that I had the great displeasure a participating in.

Bless my sweet husband, because he got back in the truck let me get back in, move forward (a modern-day chivalrous gesture) this meant I was able to jump out onto dry ground! After drying off my soggy shoe and foot, we had a fabulous dinner together!

This must be the week for messes however, because Monday morning when I arrived at school there was a distinct odor of sogginess in the hallway. I'm not sure what happened first. It may have been the odor or the water dripping from the hall ceiling or maybe it was my friend Mark who was cleaning the floor which was now soaked in water? This messy situation occurred because when the snow melts, sometimes roofs leak. The day was spent dodging the dripping ceiling, keeping children away from the mess and watching with amusement as the paper people who adorned my classroom door flapped in the wind of the fans!

Last night the theme of messiness continued.

This time it was a joy to be a part of.

I have been teaching an English class for parents and their children to learn English. These families come from a variety of countries and speak multiple languages. Faithfully the arrive on Monday evenings for a few hours to learn and practice their English.

Some of my time during these evenings is spent time with the children. On this night we were going to paint pictures. The children's ages range from four years up to 12-year-olds. There's a variety of skill levels and as you can imagine painting means a lot of different things to these children. For an hour it was great fun to watch their creativity and at times gasp in anticipation of the mess that was going to occur as their paint left the paper onto the tables. But this mess was fun to watch and participate in because of the pure joy that it brought to these children.

Today another mess! I was co-teaching a lesson and had a student climb all over me, cause disruptions and basically detour the lesson that other teachers were observing! Not exactly the best lesson I have given.

All of these messes got me thinking about messiness in our life and the control that we often want to have to make things just so.

We have plans and often times those plans don't work out exactly how we envision them.

We want things in a certain order!

Our homes

Children

Friendships

Spouses

Lessons/presentations

Careers

Checkbooks

We have designs for many things and often we're disappointed because, to us it appears to be a mess.

I would encourage you today to embrace the mess. To look at it as an opportunity to trust God more. To look at what he has planned instead of what we have planned.

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.Jeremiah 29;11

God tells us that "His ways are not our ways" Isaiah 55:8

He tells us that "He wants to work all things out for the good"! Romans 8:28

He says "He'll go before us and be our rear guard" Isaiah 55:12

If that doesn't invite messiness I don't know what does. I need someone to come after me and clean up!

Have you been in the middle of a mess recently? are you wondering what good will come out of it and how you're going to clean it up?

Today embrace the mess, look for the good, and find joy in the midst of wherever you are because, His plans are perfect!

Where am I from?

I watched the television show, “Where are you from?” It follows high profiled people as they look at their ancestral roots. It was interesting and got me thinking about my own family. Like most people I am a mixed breed. German, Dutch, French and a little Indian make up my family recipe. Unfortunately, this is about all I know. I have never researched on ancestry.com or followed the genealogy line. Everything I know is from the stories that have been passed down. As with most families, sometimes there have been exaggerations. Basically, I really have no idea what is the real story.

My husband often will tell of his family’s roots that go back to Wales and Ireland. This is a comical affair because he tries to speak with an accent. It’s funny but, I am not sure that is sounds anything like the real accent.

I am sure that if I researched my family history more I would find the good, bad and ugly truth of my family. Where we come from is both interesting and important. There is however a more valuable history that we as Christians are a part of.

Biblically the genealogy or family line is significant and is included in the bible for a reason. Jesus has two family lines listed. One was from his adopted father Joseph in Matthew 1 and the other was from his mother Mary in Luke 3.

I love how God placed this information in the bible. It shows us how he fulfilled his promise to David and gives us our own faith genealogy.

“When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.” 2 Samuel 7:12-13. 

The line of David reaches through the line of Seth to Noah, through the line of Shem to Abraham. Then through the lines of Isaac, Jacob, Judah, David, and to Jesus.

Jesus line was also followed through Mary through David’s son Nathan to show the bloodline.

Within the lineage of Jesus there are many different people listed. Five women are named which I just love! Then there are those who had less than stellar reputations. Jesus who was and is perfect did not come from an ancestry of perfect people! Thankfully this means that you and I can be included too!

There is hope for me! I am not required to carry on my own families traits and sins!

Father,

Thank you for new beginnings! Thank you for making a way for us to have a new life and a new identity because of Christ! Your love and plan is amazing! Help me to love and cherish the family of Christ that you have given to me! Amen!

What have I walked into?

You know immediately that something is not as it should be.  It’s that moment when everything inside of you as well as your skin, your hair all of your senses are fully aware that something has happened.  Then that question begins to arise within you, “What have I walked into?”

One day after long hours spent at a conference I had this type of moment. Opening the door to our home, then in Southern California, I sensed that there was in deed something just not right.

 The clues were right in front of me.

An aroma of unpleasantness

The dogs were covered in speckles of white

The kitchen timer was ringing

An unbelievable mess all over the kitchen cabinets, walls and ceilings.

Let me backup and explain what happened. During lunch my husband came home and decided to boil some eggs. He placed 10 eggs into the water and began to boil them. Setting the timer so that they would be just right, he walked away intending to return when it had been completed. Unfortunately for us, he left and went back to work.

Four hours later when I walked into the house, the eggs had boiled until the water had evaporated and then  they began to explode all over the kitchen! I truly wish that I could have seen the expressions on our dogs faces when this happened! On the stove was the remnant of what had begun as a helpful task, a pot that had been singed with brown burning eggs and shells inside.  The odor was horrible.

It was raining eggs and their residue had been added to every corner of our kitchen! The dog’s were happy to have such an eventful egg buffet!

Messes happen! Our lives our not going to be neat and tidy all of the time. Sometimes, it may take a long time to clean up the mess, even when we did not create it! When we find ourselves in a situation and don’t know what to do we can always look to God the Father for direction. Yes it took me hours to clean up the mess.  I am not sure if I ever really did get all of the egg off the cabinets!

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.         Jeremiah 33:3

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

Did I just say that?

As soon as the words pushed past my teeth and I heard them out loud, I could not believe that I was the one saying those things! What we say can never be completely taken back.

In a moment our words have the ability to encourage, challenge, uplift, comfort, discourage, judge, pressure, belittle, anger or hurt.

Jokingly, I often say “my filter is broke”, but honestly I’m not disciplined enough in the control of my mouth. Unfortunately those who are closest to me can often be the ones that I hurt.

Yesterday was one of those days. A friend who I dearly love had just shared something sensitive with me. I should have known that she was in a tender spot but, somehow it didn’t connect to my sensitivity emotion.  Without thinking, in complete disregard to her feelings I said something that made her feel less than she is.

Here lies my problem. If someone was to ask me, “would you ever do something intentionally to hurt your friends in this way”? I would vehemently declare, “of course not, I love, cherish and value them. I want to build them up!”But the thing, the very thing that I do not want to do is often what I do.

I confess, I blew it, I’m at fault and I am grieved that I would allow my sin to hurt someone who I love.

I have asked forgiveness from my friend but words spoken can never be taken back and I have the regret that I was the one to impart pain to one of my friends.

Have you been here? Does your mouth run wild?

Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Lord, guard my mouth. Remind me that it’s not what goes into a man the defiles a man but what comes out of him. I confess to you that I have loose lips and your love and care for others is not always primary in my heart and in my mind. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I pray that you would repair the damage that I have caused and remove any wedge that could be left behind. Will you fill in the gap Lord that I have created?

An Open Door

After a wonderful day at church worshiping together and really experiencing a fullness of the Spirit It was time to head home. I was a little tired when I came home. Walking in the house our dog spunky looked at me, “let me out” and so I went over and opened the door to our deck. Once again Spunky looked at me she really did not want to go where it was cold.

As I walked away leaving spunky sitting there looking at me, I realized that the the door was still open. It had never closed. “That’s weird”, I thought to myself. Walking  over to shut the door, I heard a wooshing sound. I began walking towards the sound. The door to the garage which I thought was shut was also wide open in the same way that the door to the deck was open. The odd thing was that it appeared to be held open, as if something was holding it open. As I went to shut the door I sensed a teachable moment.

Teachable moments are those times that God meets us in our every day life to remind us of His promises, instruct us in the way we should go or reveal to us something new.

I am he who opens the door what I open no man can shut. Revelation 3:8

It was a moment that I heard Jesus, “There are open doors coming, walk through them”.

Some would say, “coincidence”. I would say God uses the ordinary to instruct my heart and my mind. He reminds me that He is at work and I only need to watch him and join him.

I don’t know what those open doors are but my eyes are looking, my heart is ready and  I pray that my I would follow along as God uses teachable moments to lead and guide me.

What open doors is God giving you today?

• I new friendship
• an opportunity to serve
• holding your tongue
• Using your gifts
• Forgiveness
• New position or job
• Undeserved grace
• New ministry
• Healing
• New adventure

Maybe he’s giving you the open door to walk away from sin or to embrace your calling , to step out in faith, or an open door to share your faith with someone else.

I am reminded of The walls of Jericho coming tumbling down. God can open any door no matter how tough they appear. He is able to make a way when there seems to be no way!

Look and see and be utterly amazed, I will do things in your days that you would not believe even if you were told! 

I’m ready to walk through the doors that you open Lord!

I might be Grumbling!

I live in Michigan it should not be any surprise that it’s February and it’s snowing again! But this California girl is having a hard time with temperatures constantly below 30°.  Where is the warmth? Where is that walk outside feeling of warmth. When I look down at my arms they pasty white! Outside everything is white, the driveway, the yard, and the roads.  It’s as if I live in the land of Pleasantville. The movie where everything starts out in black and white. During November when we get a first dusting of snow, I’m kind of giddy with excitement because it’s new and fun.

As we get used to the snow something changes. Perhaps it loses its attraction and it’s novelty. I can feel myself begin to grumble, “stupid snow”.  Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher and when it gets too cold the kids do not go outside for recess. They have no way to burn off that excess energy. Fights increase at school, students are more angry, and frustrated. This also leads to frustrated teachers! We really need the snow to stop and the Sun to come back. I would also love for the daffodils to start to blooming, the grass to turn green, the trees begin budding and the birds singing! Oh spring where are you?

I know, I know I’m grumbling. Let’s just say I’m having a hard time.

As I write this it’s 8 degrees and snowing again, did I mention that? I hear a still small voice, “you sound like the Israelites”.  Ouch!

God freed the Israelites took them out of slavery and as they marched towards the promised land God gave them food in the form of manna. (Exodus 16) The Bible tells us in Numbers 11 that God supplied the manna for them but that after a year they began to grumble and complain again! Instead of looking at His provision they began to grumble.

Grumbling happens when we take our eyes off the Provider and put them on the provision! Our fragile spirits begin to grumble.

Be careful when these thoughts invade your spirit

It’s not what I want

It’s not good enough

I wish I had

Why doesn’t he?

This grumbler wants to say, “I’m sorry God”.  I am reminded that if I want to change, I need to look to the Provider.

You are

The great I am

The author and perfecter of our faith

The creator of the universe and we get to be in relationship with you

Healer, Jehovah, the God who sees me, you go before me, you are my rear guard, you always protect, you always hear, you are righteous and just, you are holy, there is none like you, we worship you, we praise you.

Who are we that you should think about us? We are but dust. You sent your one and only son to not only save us from our sins but to reconcile us so that we might have a relationship with you. You are slow to anger, gracious and kind.